Why I’m Single (and Why That Won’t Change Anytime Soon)

So all I’m asking for is a gentleman — I’m from the Midwest, and gentlemanly qualities are important, mind you — who looks like Mesut Özil or Theo Walcott, say, and can quote “Walden,” “Difference and Repetition” and “Pale Fire” in the same breath, who loves cuisine that’s spicy enough to induce weeping, who reads the NYRB and knows the names of the entire New Yorker staff, who supports universal health care, the right to choice, who can list his favorite Tarkovsky films, who can quote Breaking Bad, who likes to cycle, supports NARAL and Planned Parenthood, who has a lot of stamps on his passport (who has a passport), is involved in his faith community, visits his family, knows the history of punk rock, enjoys opera and “classical” music, likes going to museums and does not smoke.

Also: must love cats. And, of course, be an Arsenal fan.

Nah, I’m not picky.


~ by Benji on August 10, 2015.

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