Lessons I’ve Learned From Becoming a Cat Owner (and Enthusiast)

(I’ll be referring to my cat as a “he,” just because the two cats I’ve had have been male — no bias against any person or animal identifying as female — if you want evidence of my cat-obsession, just look at my instagram account: https://instagram.com/destroy_time/)

—The minute the door to your bedroom is closed, and you’re knockered and ready for another night of lonely sleep, the meows begin.

—By the time you’re fairly sure that the landlord will be knocking soon, you relent and let him in.

—Once he’s in, he doesn’t take the hint and spends the next twenty minutes grooming.

—Finally, once you’re almost asleep, he jumps up and demands another twenty minutes of petting and scratching (which, of course, you can’t say no to). On nights when he’s really cheeky, he licks your forehead until you relent and scratch his chin.

—Less than a minute after you hand him a fresh bowl of food, he will come and beg for whatever you’re eating.

—Even if it’s a banana, it will be begged for.

—My cat actually eats bread.

—He is powerless against string.

—Often when he sees me, he just rolls over as if to say “Rub me Benji!” …is there any doubt that I oblige?

—He will make sweet love to a pouch containing catnip.

—He can’t help himself if there’s a fly nearby.

—He will bat at you and try to scratch you if you scratch him below his “zone” …but then he will repent by licking you as long as you let him. (I learned this lesson the first time he licked my right forearm raw).

He’s my boy. I love him with my whole heart. I’m a late-night person, as most of you likely know, and he’s my companion when more sensible people are asleep. He’s one-of-a-kind.

—He will also look at you with a kind of admiration and love that can only come from one who is so loved and admired. I’m agnostic on whether I’ll ever have that human, but this cat gives me joy.


~ by Benji on 4 August 2015.

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