Gay in America

I’m still not sure what it means. Perhaps due to the fact that I was raised to believe that being gay was tantamount to signing a contract with Satan, or perhaps due to the lingering belief that loving a woman or man of the same gender is a crime, I still am not comfortable with my gender identity. I identify as a homosexual male; that’s just who I am. I didn’t choose it, I didn’t pick it; it’s who I am. I was born that way. My first kiss was with a boy; he’s married to a woman now, so I won’t reveal his name, but for me, it was a revelation. My true love lights for theatre in New York; I hope he knows who he is.

It took me until 25 to come out; I had to go through a number of hard encounters before I had the courage to own up to who I am. I had to hurt someone I love dearly (above-mentioned) and break off an engagement. I’m not proud of where I’ve come. Yet I have to be honest, and this is the only route I can take to maintain my integrity. I’m eternally sorry E., but this is my truth.

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~ by Benji on 1 June 2015.

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