Time, I Swear

Time comes and it disappears,
A moment that arrives and vanishes
A drop in a disappearing bucket
One that vanishes
The moment it comes into view.

I once felt free,
The day I came out
No one then approved
I was all of twenty-five
The first boy I kissed
Celebrating his fourth anniversary
I, my third kissing the boy I first loved.

It was a hard thing that,
Coming out,
I was engaged to a wonderful woman,
She didn’t know,
I met her family,
Stayed with parents, sisters,
They didn’t know.

I think I broke her heart.
I hope not, but afraid I did.
E. suffered because of me,
But not because I wished that.
She suffered because I failed,
Because I’m weaker than I project.
Yet I can’t help being gay.
It’s just who I am.
I didn’t choose this,
Despite what my parents think.

Being gay is not a choice,
Despite whatever your associates believe.
I did not choose this.
Choosing hatred is a choice
No one would choose.
I choose to be happy
With a boyfriend I truly love.

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~ by Benji on 21 July 2014.

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