“Queen Jane”

“Queen Jane”

 

I didn’t… fuck, no I didn’t

 

That didn’t happen, no it…

 

Did it? No, not possible.

 

I can’t do that.

 

Can I?

 

Could I?

 

Did I?

 

I didn’t rape her. That’s not me, I didn’t, I…

 

Shit what if I did?

Did i?

I couldn’t

But

We drank a lot and smoked some

What if

My God what if

Holy Fuck what if

Dear God what if

Forgive me in advance

Sweet Jesus Hear My prayer

Jürgen Klinsmann hear my prayer

If I did

I didn’t

But if

Judas knaws on my bones for eternity

And I fucking deserve it.

Shit.

 

This is a sacrament one has rightfully earned.

 

There are bottles broken, there are needles. We partook of both, I think? Fuck. What happened? We fucked, I remember that. There’s not much else. There were lights, we went someplace with lights… not much else.

 

Lights and fucking: essentially what life in the twenty-first century amounts to, essentially the only reasons for existing. When it comes down to it, what else is there in life? Love, I guess, which is more or less fucking in so many terms and light, be it of the literary or the lovely sort.

 

You partake of pleasure or of pain; you grant one to the other and never inflict the other to the other. What kind of person depends on which you choose to do.

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~ by Benji on 18 June 2014.

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